Couples that tease each other are happier and stay together longer.

By | 2017-02-16T11:08:27+00:00 February 16th, 2017|Categories: Relationships|Tags: , , |

“Happy couples tease a lot when they’re in conflict and they tease in these really goofy, lighthearted ways that say, “The fact that you don’t do the dishes bothers me, but I still love you. It’s not that big a deal; we can work this out.” They tease in ways that allow them to express issues of conflict, but in a cooperative and pleasant way. It predicted how long they’d stay together.”

Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life by Dacher Keltner


According to scientists, the lack of laughter leads to divorce

By | 2017-02-09T10:27:58+00:00 February 7th, 2017|Categories: Relationships|Tags: , , |

“For couples who divorced on average 13.9 years after they were married, it was the absence of laughter that predicted the end of their bond. In the early stages of a marriage, anger and contempt are highly toxic. In the later phases of intimate relations, it is the dearth of laughter that leads individuals to part ways.”

“Born to be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life” Dacher Keltner


Red increases attractiveness. Really?

By | 2017-02-08T02:30:43+00:00 January 23rd, 2017|Categories: Relationships|Tags: |

There are three research studies which didn’t confirm it.

In this study, the men gave smaller tips to female servers who wore red.

In the second research, 206 young Dutch men judged the attractiveness of a woman on a dating site. The women wore either a red, black or white shirt. Some men wanted to find a one-night stand, the others a long-term partner. Regardless of context, the woman was not rated more attractive when wearing red.

In the third attempt, researchers achieved the same negative results with 200 Americans.

We have to remember that the red effect can be more significant in real interactions than in the lab with photos. Maybe the color influences the behavior when the person is acting more flirtatiously.

Lynn, M., Giebelhausen, M., Garcia, S., Li, Y., & Patumanon, I. (2013). “Clothing color and tipping: An attempted replication and extension.” Journal of Hospitality & Tourism Research. 


People in the early stages of love have smaller grey matter in a region of the brain involved in reward.

By | 2017-02-02T15:59:11+00:00 January 23rd, 2017|Categories: Relationships|Tags: , |

It’s possible that the brain adjusts to the intensity of feeling. But how fast?

But we have to also consider that the scans were taken at just one point in time. So we don’t know if being in love shrinks the right-dorsal striatum. Maybe people with less grey matter in this area are more likely to fall in love.

Kawamichi Hiroaki, Sugawara Sho K.; “Being in a Romantic Relationship Is Associated with Reduced Gray Matter Density in Striatum and Increased Subjective Happiness”; Frontiers in Psychology vol.7, 1763 page, 2016 year


Looks Matter the Most When it Comes to a Fling

By | 2017-01-14T15:14:10+00:00 January 14th, 2017|Categories: Relationships|Tags: , |

Participants of this study chose their preferred partner based on various descriptions.

Both men and women mostly chose warmth/trustworthiness over status/resources for long or short-term relationships.

Men desired much more attractiveness/vitality for both a fling and long-term relationship than women.

Both genders increased the importance of attractiveness and vitality in short-term relationships. But they also lowered the importance of warmth and trustworthiness.

Fletcher, G. J. O., Tither, J.M., O’Loughlin, C., Friesen, M. & Overall., N. (2004). Warm and homely or cold and beautiful? Sex differences in trading off traits in mate selection. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30, 659-672.


When Couple Feel Understood, Their Relationship Grows in Spite of Issues

By | 2016-12-31T08:16:34+00:00 December 31st, 2016|Categories: Relationships|Tags: |

A survey found that repeated arguments made one set of participants unhappy. But this was not true for another group who believed that their partners understood them. What more, the more participants understood each other the faster they resolved the problems.

Feeling understood during conflict may buffer against reduced relationship satisfaction in part. This strengthens the relationship. It also shows that the partners are considerate and are open to a positive behavioral change. (more…)