Many parents made the mistake of giving love and approval to their children only when their children did something that they wanted them to do. A child who has grown up with this kind of conditional love tends to seek for unconditional approval from others all his or her life.
When the child becomes an adult, this need for approval from the parent is transferred to the workplace and onto the boss. The adult employee can then become preoccupied with the opinion of the boss. This preoccupation can lead to an obsession to perform to some undetermined high standard.
Brian Tracy, “Attitude vs. Aptitude”, newsletter
50 years of monitoring 110 women from Mills College showed that:
“The warmer the woman’s smile, 20 and 30 years later she was feeling more accomplished in her goals, she was handling stress better, she was getting along better with other people, and she was more happily married.”
Attached people also described using their phones more for accessing social networking sites. They also used them more for smart phone functions.
Veronika Konok, Dora Gigler, Boroka Maria Bereczky, Adam Miklosi “Humans’ attachment to their mobile phones and its relationship with interpersonal attachment style” Computers in Human Behavior, Volume 61, August 2016
… for a reward than children who thought about sad things or rewards during the test.
Children with cheerful thoughts were able to think about: “You can also think about singing songs, or playing with toys, or anything that is fun to think of. ”
Children in the sad group thought: “You can also think of falling down and getting a bloody knee which hurts a lot, or you can think of crying with no one to help. You can think of anything that makes you unhappy.”
Mischel W, Ebbesen EB, Zeiss AR.; “Cognitive and attentional mechanisms in delay of gratification.”; J Pers Soc Psychol. 1972 Feb;21(2):204-18.
“It is much easier for people to commit to saving money that they have not yet received than it is to get people to agree to save money by cutting back on their current standard of living
“… you will be able to increase your income by 5%, 10% and even 25% per year. To become wealthy, you must develop the habit, starting today, of saving fully 50% of these future increases. You can still spend the other 50% on whatever you like, but you must agree to save half of the money that you don’t even have yet. This should not be hard for you.” -Brian Tracy”
The researchers said, love in the early stages weaken couples concentration for daily tasks like study and work.
Henk van Steenbergen, Sandra J.E. Langeslag, Guido P.H. Band, & Bernhard Hommel; Reduced Cognitive Control in Passionate Lovers;